You may ask yourself: Well, where is my iPhone?
You may say to yourself. Did I lose it? Have I lost my mind?
(With apologies to Talking Heads' Once In A Lifetime)
Mobile phones can fly. Smartphones fly further.
Car rooftop aerodynamics is a singularly esoteric field of research. Sponsored largely by global automobile manufacturers, I unwittingly took it upon myself, already running late to the start of the 2011 Spring Cycle, to see how far an iPhone 3GS, wrapped in a silicon protective case could travel - at speeds of up to 80kmh in Sydney Sunday morning traffic.
As it turns out, Neutral Bay to Epping Road, near Epping Station is not too big an ask.
As you might imagine, Stalking Horse, on his first 'official' Team Iron Horse Ride, was underwhelmed by this last minute flight of fancy. I saw him at the start as he rode off with Lightning Horse, then I backtracked across the Gore Hill Expressway/Bradfield Highway motorchange, hoping to seek solace from a palm-sized touchscreen--the recently departed iPhone. No dice.
Unsung Hero ... Sung about.
We didn't actually know that high-speed Sunday Morning automobile rooftop experimentation was underway (although there were some suspicions in my mind); until an elderly gentleman finally relented and answered my wife's 28th phone call; agreeing to have the phone collected from his Ryde home if she would just stop calling him.)
Caffeine Induced Respiration
In fact, if truth be told, Lightning Horse and I were commiserating over the absence of the iPhone when its reappearance was discovered. (Lightning Horse hadn't lost his mobile.) These commiserations involved Ricotta Cannoli and coffee in Haberfield, just a short distance from the Spring Cycle route.
[Editor's Note: If you're wondering why there are no spectacular images in this blog, see note re missing iPhone ;-) ]
Top Gear
Maybe it was the coffee, maybe it was the stop-start nature of the route, but shortly afterwards my gears decided that only the top half of the range should be available to me. Fine on the downhill, not really a problem on the flat, but uphill-a grind. The sort of grind that leads to pain that leads to strain that leads to cramps. (In an attempt to remedy the gearing situation I managed to baffle a bicycle mechanic. Which was odd, because my local bike shop fixed it in a minute. [Truth be told, their fix wasn't that permanent and the issue remains. But I digress.]
Another Coffee
Having lost time at the start, as we wound our way through some 'interesting' routing in Balmain and then suffered a standstill more than once at choke points along the route, we figured a quick bite and another coffee at the Armory Wharf Cafe would benefit our efforts.
In fact, we were so happy with our efforts by the end of the coffee and banana bread, that we figured calling it a day was entirely understandable.
Our wives thought differently.
So, we finished the ride. It was, after all, only another 5km or so. But the cramps made it 'special'.
Honey, I finished.
As Lightning Horse and I crossed the finish line, sometime around noon (yes, a leisurely pace), Honey Shots were being handed out, thanks to Capilano.
It's a packaging disaster in the making, but absolutely hits the spot if you're desperate to kill off leg cramps. Definitely give it points for targeted marketing. Think I'll pack a tube for the Gong ride, alongside the sunscreen, Dencorub and ... something for my he- he- haemmorrhoids. ;-)
Pedal on!
Thunder Horse.
Postscript
Stalking Horse is still on speaking terms with the team and led a fantastic ride along Cooks River today from Centennial Park to Sydney Olympic Park. Haematite Horse even made a showing!
